


Julietta Caramelldansen

by xielenite



Category: Dragalia Lost
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24053614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xielenite/pseuds/xielenite
Summary: I really don't know what I'm doing here? My brain is dead and I wanted to write something.Script style.
Relationships: Alex/Elisanne (Dragalia Lost)
Kudos: 2





	Julietta Caramelldansen

[Julietta and Vanessa are lounging in a room, eating ice cream together.]  
Julietta: So… You were rejected by her too?  
Vanessa: Yep. Silly of me to think I had a chance with her… But it’s in the past,  
[Julietta sighs and eats more of her ice cream.]  
[Alex enters the room.]  
Alex: Hey guys. What’s up?  
Julietta: Oh, Alex! Um… We were just… Talking about past romance troubles, you know?  
[Alex, who is dating Elisanne, sits down.]  
Alex: Huh, I see…   
Vanessa: Ah, um, you want some ice cream?  
Alex: Sure.  
[Alex takes some ice cream and starts eating. The air in the room is awkward.]  
[In the background, there is music playing.]  
Music Player: Day to night to morning, keep with me in the moment  
I'd let you had I known it, why don't you say so?  
Alex: This music sucks. Can you play Panic! At The Disco instead?  
Julietta: Ugh! How can you NOT stan Doja Cat, Alex? You are absolutely deaf.  
Alex: Well, it’s so basic, and I can’t relate to it.  
Julietta: Well, you know ELISANNE likes Doja Cat, right?  
Alex: Elisanne doesn’t like Doja Cat. She told me herself.  
Julietta: But Elisanne GOT ME into Doja Cat!  
Alex: So are you lying to me?  
Julietta: It's more likely that ELISANNE is lying to you.   
Alex: Ugh. Vanessa, can you change the music?  
[Vanessa is already changing the music, but not to Panic! At The Disco. Suddenly, a familiar dance track comes on. The instruments, the opening melody; all of it is so distinctive and iconic…]  
Music Player: Doo doo, yeah yeah yeah yeah.  
[Suddenly, as if possessed, Alex and Julietta rise up together and put their hands above their heads, ready to dance.]  
Vanessa: Honestly, how does this even work with them?  
[Caramelldansen, in all its nightcorish glory, begins to play, as Julietta and Alex go absolutely apeshit.]  
[Finally, it comes to the chorus.]  
Julietta: DANCE TO THE BEAT, WAVE YOUR HANDS TOGETHER~  
[Alex is thrown off.]  
Alex: What the fuck? What did you just--  
[Julietta stops.]  
Julietta: Those are the lyrics, are they not?  
Alex: There is not an English version of the song.  
Julietta: Yes, there is--   
[She continues singing]  
Julietta: NOW WE ARE HERE WITH CARAMELLDANCING, OOH OOH OOH OA OA~  
Alex: There is NOT an English version, you have to be kidding me.  
Julietta: Well, seems like SOMEONE wasn't obsessed enough with Caramelldansen as a child.   
Alex: Huh?! I was TOTALLY obsessed with Caramelldansen!  
Julietta: Then how come you did not know there was an English version, hm? I bet you don't even know there's a Japanese version, sung by Hatsune Miku, from Hatsune Miku.   
Alex: It's Hatsune Miku from VOCALOID, you dumbass!  
[Vanessa looks into the camera.]  
Vanessa: Help me.   
[Alex and Julietta's argument escalates as Caramelldansen plays loudly in the background. Vanessa looks on, eating her ice cream, disappointed. The argument goes on for a while now.]  
Alex: Well, ketchup with hot dogs is absolutely DELICIOUS! How are you so uncultured?!  
Julietta: Well, the problem here is that you are consuming KETCHUP in the first place.  
Alex: What are you, white?  
Julietta: No? I'm Alberian.  
[Vanessa cannot take this anymore.]  
Vanessa: I thought you were lesbian?  
[Elisanne walks in just as she says this.]  
Elisanne: Hello, Alex, dear. And, uh, Vanessa, what did you just say?  
Music Player: Oo oo oo oa~  
Vanessa: I said she's a lesbian?  
[Elisanne, being lesbophobic but also dating Alex, screams.]  
Elisanne: AAAHHH!! Julietta, you're a -- you're a LESBIAN?  
Julietta: So are you, idiot!  
Elisanne: No I'm not!!  
Alex: Elly, we are literally dating.  
Elisanne: That is true.   
Alex: And we are women, and we are dating, yes?   
Elisanne: Yes.  
Julietta: So you're lesbian.  
Elisanne: No?  
[Vanessa changes the music to Caramelldansen - English Version. When the verse hits, Alex is thrown off again.]  
Alex: Wait, okay, so it's real?  
Julietta: What was I telling you?! Caramelldansen DOES have an English version.  
Alex: Are you sure this isn't some weird 2019 fandub?   
Julietta: It's… it's been around since the viral Caramelldansen you know. Hello?  
Elisanne: What is "Caramelldansen?"  
Alex and Julietta: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CARAMELLDANSEN IS?  
Alex: Shame. Shame on you.  
Elisanne: But, Alex, I love you..!  
Julietta: Oh, wait -- right. Now that you're here… do you stan Doja Cat?  
Elisanne: Who?  
Julietta: You know… you showed me her song "Say So?" Play it, Vanessa.  
[Vanessa cues up Say So.]  
Music Player: Day to night to morning, keep with me in the moment  
I'd let you had I known it, why don't you say so?  
Elisanne: Wait… there's an English version??  
Julietta: What. The fuck.  
Alex: God damn it. I'm going to bed.


End file.
